I was able to sneak in one last hangout with these two before they made the move to Australia that they have been planning for months. I was lucky enough to get to know both of them over the summer after they were hired at the resort I work for in Tofino.
I was talking to a friend the other day about how I am almost always wrong with my first impressions of people when I initially meet them. Maybe wrong isn't the correct word to use. What I mean by this is, My judgment of the character they embody or how cool they are is usually a little skewed. I think we are conditioned in society to make abrupt assumptions about someone rather quickly. I am not saying it's right to do, but alas, I find it inevitable not to form an opinion about someone (whether it turns out to be accurate or not) within those first few moments of speaking to that person.
This rang true for me when I first met Fraser. I have never told him this, but on the first shift I had ever worked with him, he was busy making cocktails behind the wood. I cannot remember what the drink was that my customer was asking for, but Fraser challenged me on the ingredients that went into it. I remember looking at him and thinking.
" What a cocky fucking twenty-one-year-old."
And hoped that his inflated ego wouldn't become a more significant issue over the summer.
It didn't.
Fraser isn't cocky. He is, however, extremely skilled at his job for his age and experience. Intelligent, and also, and this is the most important one. Wicked fucking funny.
I was wrong about the ingredients in the aforementioned drink, by the way.
To my delight, though, my first impression of Bella was dead on. Super sweet. Super kind. SUPER pretty, And also super funny.
My schedule had me working with Fraser only a few days a week. But we got comfortable with each other quickly. I'm not sure why that happens with some people and not others, but I like to think our almost identical sense of humour fast-tracked our friendship. He would consistently rip me apart about being old and loved to bring up the fact to other people that I had no education. I remember one time having a conversation with him and the new hostess. He turned to her and asked.
" Just wondering, but you've completed high school, right?"
" Yes"
She responded and laughed, almost a laugh as if to say,' What a silly question.'
" Ok, just making sure because ONE of us in this conversation hasn't."
DAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNNN. If I had had a drink in my mouth, I would have spat it out. It was such a good jab. Maybe that sounds like a dick move on his part, but mannn, it is my FAVOURITE type of humour. When a friend can tear you to shreds with quick, witty one-liners, both of us trying to see who can take it the furthest. It actually makes me feel closer to a person when you can go head to head like that if that makes any sense.
We mostly laughed, but when a serious conversation came up, or we would touch on something heavy, we'd say.
" Real talk, though. Let me know if you wanna vent about that."
Or.
"Real talk, though. You're all good, right?"
Fraser and I were polishing glasses at the bar one day, and he started talking about these two rappers. 'Lil Uzi Vert' and 'Juice Wrld.'
"What the fuck kind of names are those? Like how do you come up with the name Juice Wrld? ridiculous."
I said.
Fraser explained to me that 'Juice Wrld' is a play on 'Lean,' which is codeine mixed with sprite that apparently gets you pretty fucked up. Plus, it is expensive, so rappers use it as a flex. I felt super old until I asked a few other people we were working with if they knew of it, and not one of them had a clue.
" God, you're so young and stupid."
I said to him.
I was bummed to see both of them leave at the end of the summer, which is pretty par for the course. The way I live, you meet cool people, You build a connection, and then one of you inevitably leaves and moves on to new adventures. It's a trade-off of living a transient lifestyle, but a good one, because at least I get to make all of these connections, even if physically they only last for a fleeting moment. I had a car appointment made for the last week of September in their hometown though, so I knew I would get to see them one last time before they ventured across the world. I decided to make a night of it. I got a cheap Motel room in a sketchy part of the city. We had plans for the three of us to meet for dinner after my errands were done. They agreed to pick me up. Fraser messaged me to see if I was ready. I asked if he could give me an hour.
" That's chill, Bella's mom is expecting us tonight, so we will probably have to make it decently fast. Like appy kinda deal. Sorry, we have to rush around so much. It feels like we're struggling to make time for everyone we want to see!"
He replied.
"That's cool. I'll just get a salad or something."
I responded.
"Extra swag."
He wrote back.
' What the hell does that mean?!' I laughed to myself.
So I typed out.
" I'm wayy too old for you guys. No cap."
I had absolutely no idea what 'No cap' meant. I've just seen it on social media a few times and heard it from much younger people in passing...It sounds prettyyyy fucking stupid if you ask me.
I laughed about it when I hopped in their car later that night.
" Man, I don't even know what that means."
They both told me, to my surprise, that I had used it correctly. Fraser elaborated on it.
"So no cap means, like a truth, and if you were to send someone a little baseball cap emoji without the word no, it means you're lying."
He went on.
" Like, ok. If someone who is always late sends you a message saying they will meet you in ten minutes, you would send a cap emoji back because they are most likely lying."
I thought about it for a minute.
" Wow, thanks for that. You explained it really well. I doubt I'll ever use this information, though, as it's incredibly dumb."
I said while I laughed.
As we drove, we talked about their upcoming trip and how Bella's appointment at the hairdressers had cost her almost a month's rent a few days before. They pointed out their old high school to me. I said I wasn't familiar with a high school.
" Is that what one looks like?"
Because I think I'm funny, and sometimes you just have to get ahead of the curve and tell the joke before somebody else does.
When we were seated at the restaurant, I asked to see a menu right away. I wanted to order as fast as possible because I knew they didn't have much time. But Fraser said.
" No, no, let's have a drink first."
So I relaxed and ordered an Old Fashioned. Fraser was driving, but Bella wasn't. She said to both of us.
" I wanna get a little tipsy."
" Yup."
I replied. Because I had been up for sixteen hours by then, driving and running around. So that sounded delightful. We ordered shots. We decided on green tea’s because Bella wanted something.
" Strong, but also fruity."
We talked a lot about our work over the past summer—more about Australia and life in general. I said something I found funny and ended the sentence with " No Cap." I looked at them expectantly, like they were my teachers, and I wanted praise.
Fraser sighed.
" You didn't use it right. You have to say a statement and then finish it with No cap because it's a fact that you're saying. It's a truth."
"......Well, fuck."
I replied, shoulders slumped.
They came out with me to keep me company as I smoked because I am still one of those people. As we walked, I turned to Bella and told her.
" Bella, I'm so excited for you to get to Australia and hear about you getting discovered as a model because that is absolutely going to happen."
She responded.
" You think so?! I hope so!"
" I don't think so..I KNOW so."
I replied.
Because she is, I have never met someone so well suited to model in my life. First off, her hip bones nearly go up to my ribcage—amazing bone structure, perfect teeth, and eyebrows that I would kill for. Not to say she can't or won't be a million other things if she wants to. I'm just saying she would be a natural in that industry.
While we were outside, one of their friends walked by to say hi. They got on the topic (obviously) about them leaving for Australia shortly. Bella said to Fraser.
"You two should get together before we leave!"
Fraser replied with.
" I definitely do not have time for that."
Matter of factly. And then he explained everything they needed to accomplish before leaving for a different continent, which was nice. It made me feel like they went out of their way to make time for me. Always a nice feeling to get from people you care about.
After we had paid our bill for dinner and headed back out to the car, Fraser turned to me and said.
" So.. Do you wanna hear a track from Lil Uzi Vert?"
" More than anything!"
I spit out.
I was serious, though. I wanted to hear this rapper with the dumbest name you could pick for yourself. So when we pulled out of the restaurant parking lot, he threw a song on, and I have to say, it didn't hit. So I told him as much and asked to put on a song of my own because my guilty pleasure when I am out for a run is grimey rap. It hypes me up. So he chucked on one of my picks, and we all danced in the car. Afterward, he said.
" Wait, I got another guy to show you."
He selected the track from his Spotify and turned it up loud. As it played, he looked through the rearview mirror and talked to me. Bella had also turned around in her seat to speak to me from the front of the car. The music was so loud it was as if they were both on mute. I shouted to them.
" I can't hear a word you guys are saying, but this shit FUCKING CLAPS!"
Because it did, we all laughed and continued to dance in the car. The bass vibrating the rear seats of the SUV into my spine. I felt like a teenager, with no worries other than how the song made me feel at that moment. Because I didn't have the luxury of that when I was actually a teenager, I feel robbed of those moments—those moments when I should have been able to enjoy something as simple as listening to a banger of a song with friends in a car twenty years ago. But I was dealing with such hectic heavy stuff back then ( I still am now, if I'm being honest about it), but way back then, It was constant, and I was just too young. I didn't have the tools to cope with the severely unstable situation I was living in daily.
‘Would the police be at my house when I got home? Will I get pulled over and questioned the next time I leave the house? Will I be smart enough to know what to say? have I been prepped enough? Or will everything come down all because of me?’
Questions that repeatedly lingered over my head. I was Always, ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was a horrible way to live. So the moments in my life, it does feel like the laces are tied up and knotted securely on both feet. Well, you best fucking believe I take advantage of that feeling.
We car danced the whole way back to the motel.
When we parked and jumped out of the vehicle to say our goodbyes. I got mushy, of course I got mushy. Because it is what I do best. It's important to me for people to know the way I feel about them, even if it comes off as too much. I don't care. I would rather have a clear conscience knowing I said what I feel instead of risking the chance to, because it may make me look silly. So I told them how cool I think they both are, how they are wise beyond their age, how I was so glad to have met them—and that I was excited to hear about all of the good things that will surely be in their future. I said that it was a strong possibility we wouldn’t ever see each other in person again. We all promised to stay in touch. And then I asked if I could write a blog about them, because that's the other thing I do. Verbally expose my mushy heart, and then, just to make it stick- turn the mushiness of the words into some sort of story. And hope that the friends I am writing about like it.
I slept like a baby that night, partly because the person walking the road behind my incredibly divey motel with a shopping cart full of empties was oddly soothing with its consistency, almost like wind chimes. But also because my belly and my heart were full.
I hope nothing but good things for Bella and Fraser.
Because those two are as solid as they come. -No cap.
J.W
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